The Board of EOR is traveling to Ethiopia in December to work with Engineers Without Borders to build a well is Boru, Ethiopia. This well will get clean water to nearly 5000 people. Please help us get this project completed and order/renew your magizines here.
Adoption is part of our life. A huge part and talking about it is also part of our life. I have been too busy to pay much attention to what is going on in Haiti. I am not oblivious but without radio/npr in my car, I don’t get much news in my life–as well life it just busy. Yesterday, I was driving to teach in the am and was listening to NPR–I have a loaner car while mines getting body work done–oh how I miss NPR each day. So, I was listening to NPR and they were talking about the devastation in Haiti and about mothers giving up or trying to give up their children before and after the earthquake. This is not a new phenomena to me–I understand that isn’t the right word–I can’t even begin to understand the desperation these women and families feel in these developing/impoverished countries feel and experience.
They were talking about the surge in women attempting to give their children away for adoption in the aftermath of the earthquake as most people houses and jobs have been destroyed and lost. How completely bleak it much feel when you see no tangible way to provide food, clothes, shelter for your children. They had a Haitian woman’s sound byte about her attempts to give up her four children because she sees no way to feed them or take care of them. At this point, I lost it and the tears came out in a flood. I had to pull over in a parking lot. It saddened me so much that these people are living in such a state of utter destruction that they cannot see how they can keep their own children. It really hit home, as I can infer that this is how my kids birthmoms must have felt. It saddens me to think that any parent give up their child when they are healthy simply because they feel they cannot provide for them. It is overwhelming and reminds me of the other side of adoption. The one we rarely talk about–it is a blessing for me as an infertile–but for those who surrender their children based on a feeling of desperation, it must leave a whole in their heart and soul that can never be filled.
As grateful as I am, I am also sad. My thoughts are with all of the mothers who have sacrificed their parenthood to “give” their children a better life. I hope to make you proud.
I have had this window open for over an hour and I just don’t know exactly what to write. Things are crazy at Che Finley, as the new semester has started and is underway. School is good and things are progressing. I am so ready to be done, but can’t think about that now as I work on a research project that will hopefully get me published. Already the mantra “publish or perish” is now a common part of my lexicon and I’m not even finished with my PhD yet. What a live I have chosen. Sorry hubby, school will always be apart of my life.
So, in lieu of anything profound or even remotely interesting–here are some pics of the kids. Who really make it all worth wild.
Certainly not my popularity. No, Noah is the cursed one. He is by far one of the most sought after kids in his class to play with/be with. Please do not mistake this for parental bragging. Being popular can be very isolating. As some of the kids are forming these bonds with one or two kids–Noah has a host of kids who want to play with him all the time. He is being pulled in many directions and he doesn’t seem to get to really spend time with a core friend or two.
His one teacher today talked with me a bit about how she often sees Noah being pulled in several directions and wondered if I had noticed him being stressed out or anxious at home. I told her not really, but that there was an issue and that Noah didn’t seem to understand why he couldn’t be everyone’s friend. OMG–already cliques in pre-school. He has a three different kids who want to play with him often–they are three kids who don’t play together and often as soon as Noah walks in he is smothered by all three. The kids all want to be his friend a don’t quite understand that he is everyone’s friend and that because he plays with one doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the other.
“Mom, B says S isn’t my friend.”
“Is that true?”
“No, S said we have to keep it a secret so B doesn’t know”
“You can be everyone’s friend”
“I know by B gets mad when I say I am S’s friend”
How I wish the world was easier for my little man. Noah negotiates these issues well and splits his time. I can’t believe I just wrote that my son is splitting his time amongst other 3/4-year-olds. His teacher assures me that they are keeping an eye on the situation and step in to help when they need to. Is it sad to wish my son was the shy one and not the one everyone wants to be with.
I don’t know what I’ll do when Zoë starts school. They both can’t be popular can they?
Who thought with a kid in private pre-school, I’d have to be dealing with bullies. But in these tough economic times, Noah’s class has two. Dad wants him to tell the bullies “no” when they hit/kick him and if they continue then he should hit them back. I am not a fan of this and Noah even said to his dad, “But my teachers might see me.” Clearly he understands that hitting/kicking someone is wrong. Because there are two teachers and 18-20 students, the teachers can’t see everything that happens. And as the boys play rough much of the time, can you really tell from a distance or glance if they are engaging in consensual play or one is being mistreated.
Hubby is surprised I am not more concerned. I don’t want my son to get hurt and bullied by some kid. I’ll do what I need to to protect my child. But those of us who have kids know that our kids don’t tell us anything. Noah might tell me three days later that S or B hit him and it hurt. I had a long talk with Noah today about how to handle it when kids are mean to him and try to hurt him–whether kicking, hitting, or pushing. I told him to yell “No, Don’t hurt me.” Thinking this will get one of the teachers attention and Noah doesn’t have to resort to the “eye for an eye” mentality. He is too young to be learning that hitting back is sometimes necessary. I don’t want him to learn that. I want him to learn to walk away and not give the bully what he wants/needs.
So, here we are at a bit of an impasse. Re-enrollment is coming up and I have every intention of re-enrolling Noah, but I know there are a couple of families that are considering not re-enrolling because their kids are being picked on repeatedly. Noah is pretty outgoing and he’ll go and play with a few of the girls if the boys are playing in a way he doesn’t want to play. He is starting to learn and I hear him tell B that he doesn’t want to play like that and isn’t going to play with him. I like that he is figuring this out for himself. But, I might be a little more apt to react if he was showing signs of distress and anxiousness.
Have your kids had to deal with bullies? How is it handled at your kids school? How have you handled it?
Well, the new semester is back in full swing and it already has me completely over scheduled. How does that happen not even a week into it? My calendar is quickly running out of white space.
I have to say, I really did enjoy my break–although I spent most of it working, it was nice to not have to leave the house to get work done. It was also nice not to have papers to grade. Can you believe, I already have grading to do? I know. What am I thinking, giving them work already. I have had one student in my online class actually ask me to reconsider the amount of work they had to do during the first week of class. Thank goodness it was an email and she didn’t see me laughing hysterically.
I am sure things are only going to get crazier as my research study picks up, the class that I am taking actually starts and my hubby quickly tires of me being over scheduled. Ah, the glamorous life. It almost makes me miss waiting tables…almost.
Well, this past week had been much better–weight was dropping off pretty good–but then I met Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Caramels and ate the entire box as I sat on the couch the night before my LASIK surgery. But, I am still down about 6 pounds and well on my way to my goal of losing 50lbs before Hawaii. I just won’t buy any more chocolate caramels from Trader Joe’s. But they sure are awesome.
If anyone out there has an iPhone or iTouch and is trying to lose weight-I totally recommend the LoseIt app and if you use it we can be friends–and see each others progress.
On other notes–LASIK went well. My eyes are still hearing healing, but overall, I am still totally happy that I can see without glasses.
Can someone please tell me how to keep my daughter from sticking her hand into her poopy diapers–especially at bedtime?
I have lived through a 7.0 earthquake in California my hubby lived through the 89 earthquake in –and that experience cannot for a second compare to what has happened in Haiti. This is a horrendous tragedy. If you are looking for ways to help–click here. I am keeping everyone effected–the millions effected–in my thoughts. My worries about my LASIK today seem small compared to the struggles and tragedy faced by those in Haiti. Everything I worry about in my life today seems insignficant compared to what has happened to a nation that only less than 2 years ago–faced 4 hurricanes. If you can help Haiti in anyway please do.
Public education is what I’m talking about today–I know…surprise, surprise.
In my current position as a charter school liaison–which means that I work with and oversee the charter schools that my university sponsors–I have a new appreciation and apprehension and repulsion at the politics that guide and determine what happens in education. Politics rules it all–it really is less what you know than who you know. Often all it takes is a call to chancellor from someone with political ties and then things happen.
My office is getting a new charter school proposal to review this week–the deadline for submission to the state is mid February. It also take a long time to review a charter proposal and this one is going to be tricky because it is for a school that specializes in Autism–which is really topical right now–there are many laws, etc., that have to be met regardless. I am irritated, as I hate having to do something. This is one of those things that we are going to have work with and make sure happens regardless because of the political pressure that would be put upon us if we didn’t do it. UGH!
I know that no one is making me go to school. It is something I have chosen for myself and I am proud of my accomplishments. I was the first in my family to get an advanced degree and will be the first with a PhD and chances are good that I’ll be the only one in my family to have one–until one of my kids decides that they to want to avoid those irritating student loan people.
The problem with being a student is that I am old. I want a career–I am done with jobs. Because that is all I have right now–jobs. I don’t want to teach English at the community college level for the long term. This summer could very well be my last semester doing that. I enjoy supervising student teachers and that certainly is closer to what I want to be doing with the rest of my life. But I am tired of explaining to everyone that I am a student. It wouldn’t be bad if I had a full-time job that I did and when folks asked what I did, I could tell them. I just feel that I am at the place in my life when I should have a career. Let me rephrase that–where I WANT a career. I want to be working full-time somewhere. I want to be making money and not having to work 3 jobs to make ends meet with private school tuition and debt payments.
I want to feel like a grown-up and right now I don’t. I spend much of my time with students and young students. I have approached my boss about turning my assistantship into a full-time position. It is something that desperately needs a full-time person doing it, but I am ready to be working towards something. Now this is also not my dream job, but it is an administrative position that will certainly help me later on if I ever want to work in university administration–say being a Dean of something. It is academic enough that I will have time to research and still publish and do some of the other things that are important to me–supervising student teachers, etc.
I plan on finishing my course work in the Fall of 2010 and then it is just comps and dissertation. I look to graduate in December 2011 or May 2010. I know that is still a long way away, but it is so close to the end that I can taste it. I am ready to be the teacher and cease being the student. I am ready to move on with the next phase of my life that seems to be happening even though I am still stuck in this student phase.
Well, I am a couple pounds closer to wearing a bikini in Hawaii on May 20th. It was a pretty good food week. I worked out 5 days this week and overall, did well with food. My big victory–if one could call it that–was my meal at The Cheesecake Factory on Tuesday. I ate good all day and made sure that I had a good amount of calories left for dinner. I use the Lose It app for iPhone to track my calories and exercise. I ordered the Vegetable Salad. Who knew they even had such a thing–it weighs in at just under 300 calories w/out the cheese and w/ the dressing on the side. That saved me lots of calories for wine and a few bites of cheesecake.
Not only can I share my victories, but I need to share my shame as well. Yesterday, I managed to eat 5–yes you read that right–5 skinny cow ice cream bars. I just couldn’t stop once I got started. I am starting to get stressed out about the upcoming semester and how little I have done to prepare. I have a huge research project I am starting and I am beginning to feel overwhelmed. This is why I ate and couldn’t stop myself. When I feel out of control, I have noticed that I lost control over the smallest aspects of my life–this means what I eat. On that note–the truffle bars by Skinny Cow are really really good.
